Tried a new recipe recently: The Ultimate Burrito. It’s like every other burrito you’ve had – rolled into one. It has seven fillings plus your choice of salsa. This makes it halfway between a real meal and putting the contents of your fridge in a blender. It went about as well as could be expected, so I don’t think I’ll be repeating it. Thus, I will chronicle its life story here.
Note: This parody assumes a very good knowledge of the actual Miss Saigon story. I wrote it while I was in the ensemble for a performance, so that level of knowledge will assuredly suffice.
One day I was wondering why I don’t like tweeting, and I think it’s because I don’t like restricting myself to 140 characters. Every time I try, I’m always trying to squeeze every last character out, and that’s not really the point. Then I had something which I wanted to quickly mention on some social service, G+ or facebook, but it grew to over 400 words and would just look out of place. Since everything I write is blog length… here’s my blog! Best of all, this keeps it out of shorter feeds for those who don’t like reading large amounts of text. But if you like reading large amounts of text, I like writing it, so we’ll get along just fine 🙂 .
Mostly this is just a convenient place to place my short stories, but I do write other things for variety so I won’t restrict myself. Since I have several items of existing content in my backlog, I’ll be publishing them daily this week while I try to set up some regular writing patterns.
To get story-time rolling, here’s my super-short super-hero origin story:
On a government-mandated trip outside, a naive little guy is surrounded by new and unfamiliar sights. Grass is growing, flowers are blooming, birds are singing, but since he read about all that in books ages ago he felt he knew it all already. Running around, carefree as a child, he runs straight into a radioactive windmill and knocks himself out.
When he wakes up, he finds that he has been empowered with the strength and magic of a mighty Paladin! His gaze sweeps over the land, exposing iniquity to the harsh light of truth, and sees a worthy foe. A towering symbol of evil, the fearsome dragon stands directly in his path. He could feel the hot breath of the monster as he slowly backed away, raising his shield. Turning his holy vision up a notch, his laser eyes begin to burn the dragon’s scales. But the monster just laughs, and spits back a fiery rain of its own. The paladin is forced to avert his gaze while he cowers behind his invulnerable tower shield. After what seems an eternity, the flames abate while the dragon draws breath once again. The paladin’s shield falls from his weary arm, no longer able to support the weight, as he uses both hands to draw his longsword. Armor shining in the light of the new dawn, he races up to the panting dragon and deals a desperate blow. The enchanted sword pierces the thick scales and the dragon shrieks in agony as it writhes to escape the fury of the now flaming sword. In its struggles, the tail of the dragon knocks the heavily armored knight onto his back a dozen meters away, dislodging the sword in the process. Ready for his fate, the paladin looks up to meet the beast’s gaze before the end. But as he moves his head, he sees naught but the back of the flying lizard fleeing from the battle, still dripping flaming blood in a trail across the plains. He slowly gets up, collects his shield, and prepares himself to adventure on. He will never stop scouting the land for evil to banish, in his endless quest to make the world a better place.
Of course, there’s another story about what happened when he woke up. One that’s shared by a few more people, and generally agreed upon. But let’s leave that one for now, because it’s not nearly as interesting.