Holiday Research

Here’s one I wrote over the holidays just recently. In the best traditions of online comedy, I think there’s something here to offend everyone! But if I said who would be most the offended, then I’d ruin the surprise.

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Heroes of the Storm – Dragon Shire Origin Story

At the start of this year I was really enjoying Heroes of the Storm, a new DotA-clone by Blizzard Entertainment. I was even going to write a review before the beta came out, but then the beta re-worked my favorite hero and I lost interest (even though he was too powerful, so he deserved it). Before I started drafting the review though, I wrote some HotS fan-fic on a flight somewhere. Mostly because of the challenge, this isn’t a deep and lore-driven world like the three it’s based on. But I overcame that, to write this backstory for the map “Dragon Shire”.

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A Straw-Woman Argument

I strongly support gender equality, but it bugs me that sometimes modern gender equality is mis-interpreted as pro-woman. Political correctness also bugs me, particularly when people try to rewrite the English language because some words or expressions might be deemed offensive. Leaving aside for a moment that being offended is a state of mind in the reader, a language is not suitably expressive if it cannot provoke an emotional response (including offending people). I thus will try to provoke an emotional response with this short speech, modeled as being by and for some of the people who bug me in a non-insectoid way.
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The Corporate Drone

I just went and did a bit of interviewing in the US, the time on plane flights was enough for me to write a short story on the subject. I had been researching the issue for some time as well in preparation, which ended up more useful for humor writing than for actual interviewing. Thus it’s based on the stereotypes, not on my actual experiences (except that the Zerg were on my mind after one particular interview 😉 ).
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Office-chair Experiments

I’m a big fan of self-improvement, and one aspect of that is to analyze re-evaluate your routines. If there’s a task or situation you encounter every single day, the cumulative benefits of doing it better is hard to overestimate. So one thing I have been experimenting with for a while is how to sit at my desk.

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Sentence Generator

Since the funniest part of the Game Generator merely turned out to be the NOUN NOUN combinations, I figured I’d grab that bit of code and make it a little more generic. This post has a text box for your own sentence templates, and it will replace NOUN ADJECTIVE and VERB tokens with random words from out of my lists.
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Game Generator

I was discussing games at work recently, and ended up analyzing Hero Academy as a card-based TBS with a interesting global action points mechanic. I’m probably mis-characterizing Hero Academy, as I’ve never even finished a game, but at least that fits my pattern of video game analysis. I started to sound so formulaic that my past enjoyment of madlibs led me to create stochastic strings following this formula; they sound just like me but are sometimes amusing and thought-provoking.
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“Ultimate” Burrito

Tried a new recipe recently: The Ultimate Burrito. It’s like every other burrito you’ve had – rolled into one. It has seven fillings plus your choice of salsa. This makes it halfway between a real meal and putting the contents of your fridge in a blender. It went about as well as could be expected, so I don’t think I’ll be repeating it. Thus, I will chronicle its life story here.

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